It’s like some weird mathematical anomaly that happens the moment someone gets hired. Suddenly they’ve got more grandmas than the Duggar family has kids. And these mystical grandmas? They’re dropping like flies.
But here’s the thing about software – it never needs time off for its 7th grandma’s funeral. (Pretty impressive considering it doesn’t even have a family tree.)
You won’t catch software nursing a hangover from Taco Tuesday or spending half the day planning its fantasy football lineup. It’s not posting inspirational quotes on LinkedIn when it should be working.
Nope. Software just sits there, grinding away like that one weird kid in school who actually enjoyed doing homework.
And let’s talk about attention to detail. While Mark from sales is busy pretending to work (we all see you playing Candy Crush), software is actually getting stuff done. No coffee breaks. No bathroom visits. No dramatic breakup stories.
Plus, software doesn’t need a parking spot, doesn’t steal Karen’s lunch from the break room, and never starts office drama about who didn’t refill the printer paper.
Here’s the kicker – it doesn’t even need health insurance. Or a 401k. Or those weird team-building exercises where everyone falls backward and hopes someone catches them.
Speaking of drama-free software that works harder than your entire office combined…
Have you met Helium 10? It’s like having a whole department of super-employees. But this one never complains about the office temperature or asks for a standing desk.
It handles everything from keyword research to market analysis faster than Bob can come up with excuses for missing deadlines.
And I guarantee its grandma will never die. Not even once.
